Welcome to Gensokyo
by Astral Knight Albireo
Summary: The land of illusions, separated from the real world by a mystical barrier. After a night of heavy drinking, the Youkai of Boundaries causes a new incident to befall Gensokyo, as hundreds of outsiders have found their way into this mystical land. OC heavy
1. Prologue: The Party

**This fanfiction takes place a few weeks after the events of Mountain of Faith.

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Parties. A source of entertainment for many, where friends could gather and share food and drink… however, for the host of these parties, it was more of a giant pain, having to deal with the clean up, food service, and crowd control. It's even worse if your so-called _friends_ just decide to barge in unannounced and assume you have no plans.

That was Reimu's day in a nutshell. The poor Hakurei shrine maiden had finally resolved the tension between her shrine and the new Moriya shrine that had appeared one day (by breaking into their property and beating them up), and finally had the chance to kick back and relax. Then suddenly, the gap youkai Yukari Yakumo had to show up with everyone and say that there was a party being held here, and all of Reimu's friends were invited.

Naturally, she wasn't amused with her friend's intrusive declaration. Now, she was forced to bring everyone food and keep them all fed. "Every year with this," ranted the shrine maiden, as she handed her freeloading oni friend Suika some manju. "A party is held at my shrine, _without_ my consent, and I am forced to wait on everyone's demands…"

Suika took the manju and thanked Reimu. "Sh'ank ya Reimu…" slurred the little girl, as she took a bite. Despite looking like a child who could not be any older than eight years old, the horns on the side of her head told a different story. The girl was an oni, a youkai with power that can crush a mountain with her strength, and wisdom to match. However, Onis love to drink, and because of that, the girl was always drunk to some degree.

"That ol' lady took mine earlier… S'ho I still needed somethin' to eat." She laughed, pointing to Yukari. The youkai of boundaries sent the drunken girl a harsh glare. One of the things that were sure to make her mad was to suggest that she was old.

Yukari pulled out her fan and held it over her face. "You are drunk, so I'll let you off with a warning right now Suika… Don't call me old…" she said, quickly closing the fan and pointing it at Suika.

The girl in a scarlet dress who had been quietly sipping tea for most of the party, Remillia Scarlet, placed her cup on her lap. "Yakumo," she began. "That girl is always drunk. Did it occur to you that maybe she is trying to provoke you?" she asked, as her silver haired maid Sakuya Izayoi poured her another cup of tea.

That superior manner… that vampire child always managed to bug Yukari. She was aware that Suika was trying to bait her into something, but she still needed something… Some excuse for what she was about to do next. "I am aware of that Remillia," said Yukari as she waved her hand to the vampire, brushing her off. "So Suika… to me, calling me an old lady is one of the cruellest things you can say to me. Now since we are such good friends, I assume you know that." She said, giving off her playful smile. "So tell me… what do you want from me?"

Suika laughed as she pulled off the gourd that was chained to her belt. "Drinking contest! First one to pass out loses."

Reimu nearly dropped the tea she was drinking. She finally gets a moment's rest, and something as reckless as a drinking contest between two of Gensokyo's most powerful youkai was about to commence. '_No way… Yukari wouldn't take her up on that…_' she optimistically thought. '_She knows she can't out drink Suika… no one can be that stupid._'

The gap youkai smiled. "My, that sounds like fun!" she said, as she clapped her hands. Finally, she had an excuse to get even drunker than she has been in the last few years. Using her power to create a gap, she reached in and grabbed two sake dishes. Passing one to Suika, she held her own up in the air. "Cheers!" she said, as she used her powers to siphon some sake from Suika's bottomless gourd.

Reimu was visibly horrified at the events that were unfolding. The idiocy of the events that were unfolding around caused a strange urge to surface… the need to bury her face into the palm of her hands. Turning to her best friend, the Ordinary Witch – Marisa Kirisame, she mouthed a single word. "Why?"

Marisa however, ignored her friend's cries. You see… she was too busy cheering on the two youkai. Reimu once more buried her face into her palms hands, silently begging for someone to end her suffering.

* * *

The contest lasted for an hour. Suika was rolling on the ground laughing at Yukari's drunken stupor. She kept on taunting the drunken woman, calling her names like 'Gap Hag,' or describing her power as 'Gapgina.' That alone would have been amusing enough, but it was truly Yukari who was now the life of the party.

In a drunken haze, the mighty youkai of boundaries- the strongest being in all of Gensokyo, had stripped down to her under garments, and was now singing songs in foreign languages. "Crawling~ in my skin! These wounds~ they will not heal!" she sang, belting out lyrics in a tone that was almost painful to listen. But hey, she was drunk. It was just amusing to see her make an idiot of herself.

As much as Reimu hated to admit it, this party was fun. She was worried that that little drinking contest would get so bad that Yukari might cause an Incident of some sort in this state. So far though, the worst she has done is hurt everyone's ears.

Looking around, it seemed that everyone was drunk to some degree. Aside from Suika and Yukari, the worst one off was Remillia. Someone slipped some sake into her tea, and despite her being a five hundred year old vampire; she still was a child by their standards. The sake worked well enough that she passed out shortly after getting drunk.

Reimu got an idea in her head. Turning over to Marisa, she whispered her plan into her ear. "Ah, sounds good Reimu!" she said, as she wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Let's do it!"

Reimu got up and walked over to Sakuya, trying not to trip over herself. The maid was beginning to panic at her mistress' state. "Sakuya, maybe it is about time you took Remi home." She said, trying to get her attention. "The sun will rise in a while, and if she wakes up to that… well, I think you may need a few umbrellas to keep her safe."

The silver haired maid stopped for a moment, catching her breath. "Right… Thank you, Reimu, I think you are right…" she said, bowing to the miko. As she turned to gather her mistress, she let out a shocked gasp. Marisa had somehow conjured up a calligraphy brush, and was drawing faces on Remillia's face. Screaming in terror, Sakuya grabbed her and stormed off. As she left the shrine, she gave Marisa a glare that was colder than anything that Cirno could throw.

The party continued for a few more hours until everyone slowly began passing out. As Reimu's consciousness faded, she laughed. "Ah… tonight was fun…" she said, as she passed out, followed by Marisa right on top of her.

Yukari was the last one to pass out. Just before she hit the floor, she let out a smile… the kind she would let out whenever one of her schemes was coming to fruition. Something was definitely up.

* * *

In the late night streets of Ikebukuro, there was a sight was quite out of place. A young man was walking around, dancing to the music on his iPod. Now, the dancing was enough to get people to stare… but what really caught their attention was the person dancing. It was a brown haired foreigner, clearly spending his first night in town. This teenager was supposedly here to meet a friend over the Internet, and was walking… err, dancing his way to the destination. "Ski-bop-ba-bop-da-bop. Ba-bop-ba-da-bop. Ski-bop-ba-bop-da-bop. Ba-bop-ba-da-bop."

The man kept on dancing down the streets, not paying attention to his surroundings. He bumped into a few people as he passed by, quickly apologizing in the middle of his song. As the foreigner continued his way, he unwittingly made his way down a dark alleyway. As the song finished, he saw a group of tall men. They all had the face of a thug, and the man confirmed the thought by the fact they were all wearing red bandannas. A colour gang. "_Hm… I didn't know the Bloods had chapters in Japan._" He said in English. Looking around, he saw the address of the alleyway and realized something. The quickest way to the destination was through this alleyway. Cursing, the teenager walked down the alleyway, trying to avoid conflict. "_Well, fuck my life…_"

About halfway down the alley, one of the gangsters grabbed him by the shoulder. "What do you think you're doing kid? Crossing us without paying the toll?" he said. The man simply ignored him, and continued on. "Hey! I'm talking to you, you damn foreigner!"

The brown haired boy sighed, and did a 180 spin. He barely knew any Japanese, and could only speak a few broken phrases. "Me… Me no speak Japanese." He said, his accent heavy. As he backed away, he bowed like a coward trying to weasel his way out of a bad deal. "Me so sorry… so, so sorry…"

One of the other thugs laughed and grabbed a baseball bat. "Hey dude, he doesn't speak Japanese! I think we can **charge** him for passing without getting in trouble!" he said, as he slammed the bat in his hand.

"_Crap… they're getting ready to mug me…_" said the foreigner, as he tried to remember something his friend told him. A phrase that would shock a person so much, that they would be unable to move for a few seconds, giving you a chance to run away. "_Right! Now I remember!_" he shouted. Clearing his throat, he uttered the phrase that he thought would save his life. "I killed your sister, and defiled her corpse." He said, totally unaware of what he had just said.

It did indeed work. The thug was shocked by the words for a second. However, it was only a second. In the next moment, the thug screamed loudly and tried to cave in the foreigner's skull, missing by a hair. This caused the foreigner to run down into the alleyway.

The chase ran on for about a minute before he ran into a dead end. "_Oh fuck… someone help me please!_" he begged, as he slammed his hands against the wall. The thugs found him. Each one of them carried some sort of weapon on them; switch blades, baseball bats, chains, knuckle dusters. The kid was toast. As he sat down on the ground and curled into a ball, he felt one of the thugs kick him. He went flying backwards, straight for the wall.

However, the impact never came. He felt himself falling, and falling. "_Oh shit!_" he screamed, as he fell in this strange void.

* * *

The sun was rising in the Hakurei Shrine. Reimu was slowly waking up, her head pounding from the hangover. As the light shone over her face, her eyelids slowly opened.

"Ah… she's cute. A cosplayer?" murmured a voice.

"No… I think she's a real shrine maiden! Awesome!"

As she opened her eyes, the Shrine Maiden of Paradise saw many people dressed in strange clothing standing around her, as well as Marisa and Suika. Yukari was no where to be seen, meaning one thing. '_That damn gap!_'

As the foreigner finally landed with a thud, he got up and cracked his joints. "_Ow…Dammit, that fall took forever…_" he muttered, as he looked up to the sky. His eyes widened when he saw that the sun was up, making him wonder how long he had been 'falling.' Sighing, he decided to continue onto his destination. As he reached into his pocket to get his iPod out, something dawned on him. He was no longer in the bustling streets of Ikebukuro, but rather the roads of some backwater village. "_…Okay, where the hell am I?_"


	2. Fish Out Of Water

**SO THERE I WAS… PUTTING THE STORY IN A POINT OF VIEW FORMAT!

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**Chapter 1**

_**Fish out of Water**_

Ever had one of those days where you go out to meet a friend and you run into some thugs, say something to them and get chased, then find yourself in a place that looks like it is stuck in the eighteenth century?

…Yeah, me neither… This place was… weird, to say the least. My name is Samuel, and I came to Japan to meet up with a friend, and now I am in some backwater village that looks like it's from the Edo period of Japan. Well, sort of. Aside from the villagers who were dressed up in kimonos, there were people who came from where I was from. You know, reality? There were hipsters, businessmen, people in Visual Kei, and even some Japanese high school students. The entire scene was one big anachronism.

"Dear god…" I grumbled as I dusted myself off. Sighing, I walked towards one of the male villagers and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me," I began trying to be as polite as I could. "But by any chance, do you know where I am?"

The man turned around and raised an eyebrow at my question. "_Excuse me? I don't understand what you are saying… uh, I am sorry but I need to go help Ms. Kamishirasawa deal with these people._" He said, as he walked away to a woman in a blue dress.

Well, I know one thing for certain… They speak Japanese here, so I am **screwed**. I turned and walked in the other direction, trying to figure out what to do in this situation. "Alright Sam, just calm down… no one understands what you are saying, and the reverse also applies… But surely of all the people that aren't native to this place, at least one of them has to understand a bit of English… right?"

Damn, I must look like a freak for talking to myself. Not that it matters, since no one can freaking understand me! I stopped for a moment and realised something; I might get caught up in a fight of some sort, so I'd need something to defend myself. I mean, just in case some people try to talk to me like last time… I want to be able to defend myself. Putting it on my to-do list, I walked down the dirt road and looked around this strange land.

I'll admit this place was absolutely stunning. Blue skies, green forests and air as fresh and crisp as the mountains. This place was free of pollution and it both bothered and eased me. I know it makes no sense, but for a city slicker like me it feels unnatural to be in a place without industrialisation. I need **sleaze** around me, or I feel out of place.

Ahead there was a crowd all pushing against each other, shouting in Japanese. Of the little that I could speak, I was able to understand that they were either rioting because they wanted to know where they were… or they were all screaming for some fast food. My guess is the former. Looking around for a weapon, I found a thick stick that was perfectly suited for beating people… you know, in self-defence?

I navigated my way through the crowd to see what was going on. In the centre of the commotion, there were two girls trying to do… something. One was holding a pen and talking to everyone. She had black hair, and wore a relatively simple ensemble with the only thing that stood out were some weird Japanese sandals that had a thin wooden base, which seemed impossible to stand on. The other girl had blue hair, and donned a blue rain jacket. She was cowering behind the other girl, afraid of these newcomers.

Apparently, one of the little I could make out a riot was about to break out. When one of the men in the crowd freaked out and charged the girls, the black haired one grabbed her friend, and flew away.

…

"…Wait, what? Since when can people fly?" I wondered aloud. The crowd chased after them, all looking as though they were about to kill someone. As they ran into the forest, I chuckled as I continued down the path to follow them. Maybe I could figure something out from them when they all calmed down. Humming a tune in my head, I closed my eyes and made a straight line to where they were going. I must have not been paying attention, cause I just tripped over something and landed face first into the dirt road. Getting up, I scowled to see the assailant of my foot. It was… weird.

The thing I had tripped on looked like a handgun, but at the same time didn't. It lacked a magazine, and the barrel had a weird cone at the end with an opening that was barely a meter in diameter. The thing shouldn't be able to fire with a build like that. But that wasn't the weirdest part. No, no, no… the weird part was that the handle, barrel, as well as that cone, all appeared to come off. If I had to describe it in a word, the thing looked like a toy. It couldn't work. It shouldn't work. It was probably a piece of junk!

Still, I picked it up. Walking down the dirt road, I examined this weird piece of shit some more. As a wind blew by, blowing my hair back I let out yet another thought. "I wish I had a cigar… I'd probably look like some badass cowboy."

* * *

_The crow tengu Aya Shameimaru had just escaped a crowd of rioters. They were dressed in clothing that seemed to come from the outside world, so she flew in to ask them some questions for her newspaper. Looking at the girl who had come with her, the kappa Nitori Kawashiro was panting. "Hey, Nitori? Why are you so worked up? I'm the one who had to carry you…" she said, scratching her head._

_Nitori looked up to the tengu girl with eyes filled with fright. "A-Aya! What were you thinking? I was just there to talk to Akyuu about a product my family was building for her, and you just got me in the middle of some riot! You know I am very shy…" she said, backing away from her 'friend.'_

_The news reporter chuckled lightly at the words, but stopped herself when she noticed something wrong with Nitori. "Uh… Nitori? I think something fell out of your bag."_

_The blue haired girl tilted her head in confusion. Looking over to her backpack, she noticed that one of the side pockets was open. She let out a gasp as she reached in to check if anything was missing. When her groping hands could not find anything, the colour drained from her face.

* * *

_A few hours had passed since I found this weird gun. The sun was beginning to set and things were getting a little dark. I found myself sitting on a rock on the outskirts of that village, just looking at the gun. A few observations on it showed that there was a dial with the numbers zero through nine on it. The nine was circled for some reason, but I am guessing that its because that is as high as it goes. Lying down, I looked up to the orange sky and realized something. It was cold out. Shuddering from the lack of heat, I got up and was about to make my way onwards until I was interrupted.

"_Hello_," said a voice behind me. Turning around I saw a man who looked a year or so older than me. He was dressed in relatively normal clothes, aside from that really thick winter jacket. "_Do you know what this place is?_"

Frowning, I held my hands up and shook my head. "Sorry man. I don't speak that much Japanese." I explained, embarrassed slightly by the fact I was in a land where I couldn't understand anything.

"How about English?" he asked.

Eyes widening, I jumped up at his words. "Hot damn! You speak English!" I cheered, as I grabbed him by the shoulders and smiled. The man's face was totally stoic, but judging by the look in his eyes I could tell he was not amused. Quickly letting go, I chuckled. "Uh… yeah… so, what were you saying?"

The man blinked and let out a yawn. His expression unchanging, he repeated his question for me. "I was wondering if you knew what this place is. You know… where are we?" Shocked by his eloquence in a language that was probably foreign to him, I blinked. It took me a moment before I could answer his question with a simple shake of my head. "…I see. Later." He said simply, turning around with a hand wave. With that, he walked out into the distance.

Sighing, I got up and walked in the direction opposite of that man. My first real communication since I landed in Japan, and it ended as quickly as it started… weird how something like that can mean something to a man, isn't it?

Getting bored, I held the gun up. Wanting to see if it could do anything, I turned the dial to one and aimed to a dot in the sky. The moment I outstretched my hand, something weird happened to me though. Lines appeared in my vision, pointing to the dot and at the end of each line was a number. Eighty-two, thirteen, ninety-nine… all of this made me go dizzy for a moment. Shaking my head, I put the cross of the gun towards the number that line that said 'thirteen.' With a single motion I pulled the trigger. What happened next… was a shock.

The gun fired. A green burst of energy shot from the nozzle, traveling roughly thirty meters. The dot in the distance moved wildly, and I could hear a loud scream. My legs trembled after the dot continued on its. "Shit… it actually works."

Well… this was weird. A toy gun that fires green lasers like a mecha. I think I have stepped into some weird anime. I took a deep breath, and slowly made my way down the dirt road and into the forest. Now that I had a way to defend myself, I was fairly confident that I could go in and out of that place unscathed. I mean, if all I got to worry about are a bunch of backwater villagers, this gun should be able to scare them away without me even needing to hurt them. Perfect!

* * *

_"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" muttered Nitori, as she looked around the human village. The sun had set, and she was having trouble finding the thing she had lost. She had spent the last twenty minutes groping around, finally giving up. She turned to the west, and ran towards the mountain in the distance. Cursing under her breath, she was only hoping that Reimu could help her._

_She ran for a good twenty minutes. Reaching the entrance of the Shrine, she heard a lot of commotion. People were arguing. Gulping, the shy kappa slid the door open. Reimu held her gohei up in the air, chasing after Yukari. "You damn gap! What the hell did you do?" cried the shrine maiden as she swung at the youkai._

_"Ah, Reimu take it easy. I was drunk, so I had no idea that something like that would happen!" she insisted, using her gaps to evade Reimu's attacks._

_Nitori coughed, trying to break the fight up. When the shrine maiden noticed Nitori, she had a look on her face that showed absolute irritation. "Nitori, I am a little busy at the moment… this had better be important." She said, a look of contempt sweeping over the poor kappa._

_"Uh… yeah. Reimu, I am missing something important. A special prototype the kappas have been developing." She explained. Looking at Marisa who was eating snacks with Suika, she pointed to the mini-hakkero reactor tied to her waist. "We copied the design of Marisa's hakkero, and are currently trying to develop something similar to that. We finally got a working prototype, and my uncle asked me to take it to Eientei for testing under the chief pharmacist."_

_Marisa got up, a look of horror on her face. "You guys stole my hakkero?" she asked, enraged by the fact that someone did to her, what she had been doing to many others._

_Nitori jumped back at the outburst of her ally. "N-no… we just observed the way you used it, and are trying to create a device that can replicate it's effects for people with no magical capabilities… but that isn't the point. It' s gone missing, and I'd like you to find it Reimu." She begged. "That device is extremely important, and could be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Please get it back!"_

_The Hakurei shrine maiden crossed her arms and sighed. "…I'll get it tomorrow. I'm tired from having to deal with all those people that this_**_hag_**_brought in from the outside world…" she said, as she turned to Marisa. "Thanks for helping."_

_The witch got up and walked to the door. Adjusting her hat, she flashed a peace sign to her friend. "No problem. I'm sure you'd do the same for me, right?" she asked rhetorically, as she grabbed her broom. Stepping past Nitori, she waved a hand. "Later!" she called out, as she zoomed off to her home._

_Nitori watched the witch fly away. It was then that she felt something push her out of the shrine. "I'll get you your device back. Go home." She said, clearly out of energy. Closing the door in front of the kappa, Reimu walked to her room to get ready for bed. As she passed by the youkai of boundaries, she stopped and sent her a cold glare. "Yukari, you had better fix everything." She warned, as she went to hit the hay._

_Yukari smiled, as she opened a gap. "No worries Reimu. Everything will be fine in the next day or so." She said, as she stepped into the gap that lead to her home. "I wouldn't have done this if I knew it wouldn't."

* * *

_

I walked down this forest, bored out of my mind. The batteries on my iPod were almost dead, so I put it away. I haven't eaten anything all day, and my stomach began rumbling. Suddenly, I caught the scent of something cooking. "…I smell roasted lamprey."

…

Don't ask how I know what it smells like.

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**You people know what the button down there does? Clicking on that button below writes a review. If I get a few, I get motivated to complete the next chapter sooner. Review, or this may never reach chapter 3!**


	3. Boy is Now Preparing, Please Wait Warmly

**Hello, all my reviewers! … I only got one? Nobody loves me. ;-;

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_**Chapter 2 **_

_**Boy is Now Preparing. Please Read Until He Is Ready**_

That smell… the fresh aroma of roasted lamprey. It made me feel sick to my stomach. Seafood always made me feel unwell when it was being prepared, so I tried my best to avoid it. I continued walking until I finally found the source of the smell. A small food stand was set up on the side of the road. From it, I could see a girl working the grill, turning over the lamprey as they began to turn a golden brown.

I'll admit that it looked really good; however, I stand by my decision not to eat seafood of any kind. Nope. No way, no how!

…

Damn, my stomach is gurgling. Sighing, I walked to the stand, pulled out a seat, and sat down with my head resting on the table. I raised my hand and held two fingers up. "_Two please…_" I said, using my limited knowledge of Japanese. Ugh, I wish that guy I met earlier stayed so he could translate for me.

"_Alright! Two grilled lampreys coming right up!_" said the girl working the stand. It sounded quite pleasant, and relaxed me a bit. For some reason, I felt my mouth contort into a smile of bliss. It was… painful for me, a person who has fun kicking soccer balls at people. I looked up to see my waitress. She wore a simple brown kimono, and a faded blue bandanna over her head. Admittedly, she did look pretty cute, but something seemed off to me.

"…Probably my imagination." I shrugged as I rolled my head over the counter. I began humming a simple song I'd listen to back home, just to calm my nerves. I heard the girl finish her song a few minutes later, and she handed me two of the lamprey on a stick. "_Thank you._" I said, calmly as I took the food from her. Taking a few sniffs of these roasted parasites, I hesitantly bit into it. It was the best seafood I have ever eaten, but then again, that is not saying much.

The girl turned around to get something from the drawers. It was then that I realized what was wrong with her. That one **thing** that didn't set right with me. On her back, were two feathery bird wings. Screaming, I jumped off the chair and ran. I ran as fast as I could, trying to leave that… that **monster** behind me. It was then that my vision slowly began to go black. It became hard for me to see as I began to succumb to this night-blindness.

"_Hey! You didn't pay!_" screamed the demon. Actually… it sounded more like singing. Shaking those thoughts out, I continued to run forward without a care for my surroundings.

A few moments passed before I ran face first into a tree. I felt the blood trickle down my face and a quick look to my nose showed that it became crooked. "Dammit… Someone help! Ryu! Dhalsim! Ken! Help me! I'll even take Akuma!" I cried, begging the help of fictitious characters.

"_How rude! I am not a devil!_" sang the girl as a barrage of feathers came from the darkness. My mind barely had the chance to register this absurdity as I ran for cover behind the tree. Gulping, I pulled out the gun and shakily adjusted the dial to four. I had zero visibility, but I had no other choice. I thought that if I focused on the source of the sound, I could hit her.

When the barrage of feathers had ended, I quickly popped out from behind the tree and held up the gun. Once more the numbers and lines popped into my vision, adding more pain to that headache from the run-in to that tree. Moving my arms to the line that had an eighty-two at the end of it, I let loose six bursts from the gun. Out of them, I heard three of the shots hitting the girl because of her screaming. "You! Stay back!" I proclaimed, as I dodged another sudden barrage of feathers.

So many questions ran through my mind. Why couldn't I see? What was going on? Why is does that girl have feathers? Why is she attacking me? These thoughts barely had the chance to register before I saw a barrage of feathers coming in crossfire. "Dammit," I screamed, as several grazed my arm. Grabbing the wound, I bit my lips, "when did she get behind me?"

This was it… I was going to die now. I'm bloody, panicking and I feel as if I will black out any moment. This monster… I have no idea what she'll do to me. Torture me? Eat me? Eat me out? I curled up into a ball, ready to accept my fate. As more feathers scraped against my body, grazing my legs and arms. Each strike felt as bad as a paper cut. The moment I felt the barrage stop, all went silent. Looking up, my vision began to return, and I could see the girl flying about twenty meters away with her arms crossed triumphantly over her chest. This was my chance… all I needed to do was run up close and hit her at point blank range.

Trying my best to ignore the searing pain, I stood up. Quickly adjusting the settings of the gun to seven, I ran towards the girl screaming. When she saw me, she laughed. "_Wow, you're an idiot aren't you? This wouldn't have happened if you just paid for your meal._" She said, launching another barrage of feathers. My eyes showed me another weird statistic. Instead of showing lines pointing to each target, I saw arrows flash up before me, almost as though this were a game of Dance Dance Revolution. "Fuck it. Weirder things have happened to me today…" I cursed, as I ran forward and followed the directions of the arrows.

To my amazement, not a single one hit me. I quickly closed the gap between us, a weak smile creeping over my face. "This is it…" I began, as I raised my gun. I had a one hundred percent chance of hitting at this range. I didn't need those weird lines to tell me that. Pulling the trigger, I screamed out to her. "Eat this feather fag!"

The blast was immense. Unlike the previous settings, which felt like a paintball and a pistol respectively, this shot felt more like a magnum and had the size of a cannonball. The recoil knocked me back a few feet, as I was unprepared for such a shock. However, my opponent was far less lucky. The blast hit her head on in the gut, knocking her through a few thick tree branches. When she finally stopped, she dropped to the ground mumbling to herself in a delirium. "_Oh… that felt almost as bad as Marisa's Master Spark…_" she rambled.

My nerves were screaming for rest. I needed to find a place to sleep and get my wounds treated. Holstering the gun in the back of he pants, I limped forward for what felt like a good three hours…

* * *

_The light of fireflies shone in the forest. The green haired insect Youkai, Wriggle Nightbug was wandering around, looking for her friend Mystia. "Geez… leaving her Lamprey Stand unattended like that," she began, shaking her head at her friend's foolishness. "Mystia? Where are you?" she called out._

_By a tree, she saw her friend lying against the trunk in a daze. The Night Sparrow youkai rubbed her head, mumbling something. "Ow… that guy ate and ran, and then he shot me," she grumbled, noticing her Insect youkai friend. Waving her hands, she called out. "Oh… Wriggle, how long have you been here?"_

_Shaking her head, the green haired youkai flew down and landed. "Long enough to hear what just happened," she stated with a sigh. Kneeling by the night sparrow, she offered a hand to help her up. "You said he shot you… what was his spell card like?"_

_Taking the hand, Mystia stood up and cracked her bones. "Mmm… He didn't make a declaration, so whatever it was he hit me with, it was no spell card…" she explained. She remained silent for a few moments before the light of realization dawned on her. "Ah! Wr-Wriggle! That last attack he hit me with was about as painful as a hit from Reimu's Dream Seal!" she said, shaking her friend by the shoulders. "We need to tell her right now!"_

_Wriggle brushed Mystia's hands off and sighed. "I really am not happy to tell you this Mystia, but for one an attack as strong as what you described has to be a spell card, you probably just didn't hear it…" she started, a stern look crossing her face. "Secondly, Reimu is probably asleep. We are Youkai of the night, so by the time we are totally awake, humans probably are getting to sleep. Finally, you have some customers coming to your stand so you might want to get back there." She said. Grabbing hold of Mystia's wrist, she took flight._

_Looking down the road, Mystia became more and more confused. "But… I'm positive he hit me with a regular shot…"

* * *

_

It was amazing, really. Despite all the injuries I sustained from that battle, I wasn't bleeding. Sure, the wounds stung, but they didn't hit any veins or arteries. Whistling at my luck, I continued down the dirt road until it suddenly became one of stone. I looked up and squinted to see just what exactly was up ahead. About ten meters away, a giant staircase that climbed up a mountain stood before me. At the top, I could see a structure that resembled an arch of some sort. Finally, some civilization!

I climbed the stairs, step by agonizingly painful step. It took me a good twenty minutes, but I finally reached the top and was greeted by a rather quaint little shrine. Limping forward, I found a nice donation box by the entrance. Chuckling lightly, I reached into my pockets and pulled out two one hundred yen coins. Dropping them into the box, I turned around and sat down. My eyelids grew heavy, and I could feel my consciousness slipping away. Letting out a yawn, I rested against the box to go to sleep.

I made it through my first day here and so far, I have been attacked by a freakish bird girl, walked at least fifteen miles, cut up and still unable to understand a word of what anyone is saying. Just my luck.

…

I hear thumping…

* * *

_It was a faint noise. A sound so quiet, a normal person wouldn't be able to even notice it. However, Reimu knew she heard it. Getting out of her bed, she walked made her way to the door. Sliding it open, she scanned the area for someone who may be playing some sort of cruel joke. "Alright, where are you?" she asked, tapping her Gohei in her hand, ready to slam it into the skull of whoever is tricking her._

_Looking to the donation box, she saw a boy just about to fall asleep lying against it. He had cuts all over him, and appeared to be one of the strange people who Yukari brought in. Storming over to him, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and held him up in the air. "Alright you, what did you do to my donation box?" she asked threateningly, ready to kill him in a moment's notice._

_The boy gulped, confused as to what was happening. "Listen lady," he began in a language that Reimu did not understand. "I have been attacked by a demon, barely eaten anything in the last day and have walked a lot. I am tired. Let me sleep dammit!"_

_Dropping the man, Reimu sighed. Walking to the door, she beckoned him over. "Hm… Alright, I can't understand a word you are saying… Come inside and I'll treat your wounds. When Yukari comes, I'll have her ask you what's going on… She should know a lot of languages, with her being so old…" she said, leaving the door open.

* * *

_

Uh… I don't… I don't even know what just happened, but from the looks of it this girl wants me to… Come inside and live with her. Oh wow, this is the sort of thing every single sad otaku must dream about! Chuckling, I walked in and sat felt my legs give way as soon as I took three steps in.

I then looked around this shrine, laughing at my circumstances. This is my first day in this weird place and my second day in Japan. Nothing can be as weird as this, not even if I were to meet some sort of dragon who wanted to conquer the world.

Yawning, my consciousness had finally decided it was time for me to turn in. With that one yawn, I quickly went out like a candle in the wind.


	4. Got'cha

**My reviews are open to anon you know. Also, just a quick note; words spoken in a foreign language will be marked with ****italics. ****As will thoughts, but those will be put down '****like so.****'**

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**Chapter 3**

**Got'cha**

Three hours since I have awoken. In that time, I sat around doing nothing and waited for this shrine maiden to do something other than stare at me. Finally after those hellish three hours, a weird hole appeared out of the blue. From it emerged a mature looking woman who was wearing what can only be described as a ballroom dress mixed with a china-dress. After the shrine maiden and this fashion disaster talked for a bit the older woman smiled and squatted down in front of me. "Hello. My name is Yukari. What is yours?" she asked. All I could make out was that her name was Violet.

Laughing, I looked away from her. "_Sorry Violet. I don't speak much Japanese to hold a conversation with anyone._" I said in a slightly irritated tone. Dammit, is there a single person aside from that **one** guy who can speak English?

"_Violet? No, my name is Yukari,_" I looked up and stared at her in amazement. She gave me a lazy smile, as if mocking me. "_So tell me, would you like to speak Japanese perfectly for as long as you stay here?_" she asked.

Scoffing, I raised an eyebrow and pointed my finger at her. "_I would like that, but it would take me a few weeks to learn how to hold a decent conversation. Time, I am not willing to spend here,_" I said.

Sighing, the woman named Yukari backed away. Raising a hand, she snapped her fingers and looked at me. "Do you understand me now?" she asked, once again switching to Japanese.

Gritting my teeth, I glared at her. "No! I already told you I don't speak Japanese, dammit!" I spat, cursing under my breath. Pausing, I looked up. "…Wait a minute. I just… I just spoke in Japanese." I mumbled, realizing that **something** happened. "What did you do?"

The woman chuckled lightly. "I removed the language gap between you." She said. Turning around, she walked out the door. "Don't question it. You'll understand more about this place soon enough."

I stared at her as she walked off. Removing the language gap? What the hell is that bullshit supposed to mean? Shaking my head, I put these thoughts to the back of my head and turned to the shrine maiden. "…Okay, so armpit lady… I have a few questions that I'd like answered." I began. As I opened my mouth, something came whizzing past my ear.

The girl's face was totally unimpressed, looking almost irritated. "My name is Reimu." She said sternly, arm outstretched indicating that she had indeed thrown something. "I will ask the questions first. First of all," she began, walking over to me. Leaning in front of my face she stared into my eyes. "What exactly did you do to my donation box?"

I blinked. Was she being serious? Laughing, I backed away from her feeling a quick jolt of pain from my bandaged wounds. "What do you think I did?" I asked sarcastically. "I put in a donation. Two hundred yen if you wanted to be accurate."

Reimu backed away and smiled. "Ah, well that's good. You may ask whatever questions you have." She said.

"Alright then, I shall. First of all, where the hell am I? Second, why can people fly? Third, how do I get back?" I asked, covering all my questions as fast as I could. I really didn't want to spend much time with this psychotic shrine maiden.

Standing back up, Reimu held up her hand. Flicking up one finger at a time, she answered each of my questions in order. "First of all, you are in Gensokyo. Second, it isn't that uncommon for people to fly here. Third, Yukari is working on that. I'd say she will be able to send everyone back in a few weeks."

Blinking, I did all that I could think of. Let an exasperated sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. "…_Fuck it_. You aren't making any sense." I cursed, getting up. "I may hate exposition, but **please** give me a little explanation as to what Gensokyo is!"

The shrine maiden glared at me. "Listen, I only took you in for the night because I thought you did something to my donation box. If you want to go out there, be my guest. It's your own fault if you get eaten by a youkai." She said rather curtly.

As I was about to leave the room, I planted a foot down and did a 180 degree spin, marching my way back to her. "What do you mean youkai?" I asked. I really had no idea what to make of that. Youkai, as in the many monsters from Japanese folklore? Oh please, she has got to be kidding me.

But judging by the smile on the girl's face, it would appear that she was being dead serious. "Yes, Youkai. Creatures that prowl in the night, hunting and devouring humans, crunching on their bones and drinking up their blood!" she said in an overly dramatic voice. "They come in many shapes and sizes, some being elder animals, while others are the embodiment of a particular domain."

She stared at me, silently asking if I was scared. Honestly… this just seemed so surreal. "…_Fuck it_. I don't believe you." I cursed, walking out. I heard Reimu laugh at me as I walked out, suddenly stopping.

"Hey! Where did you get that?" she said. Turning around she was pointing to my hips. "That thing you are carrying in the back of your pants. Where did you get it?" she asked, sending that cold stare.

Raising an eyebrow, I turned back and shrugged. "Found it on the ground. I am using it as a way to protect myself. No problem with that, right?"

Before she could answer, I walked away while I gave her a lazy good bye wave. Hopping down the stairway, those words she said to me really began to sink in. "Youkai from animals, huh? I wonder if that girl from last night was one?" I wondered aloud. Shrugging I continued my march down this seemingly endless flight of stairs. I saw a girl in a blue raincoat run up beside me, heading to the shrine.

* * *

_Reimu put her hand to her forehead, sighing at the boy's rudeness. "Honestly, he's harder to deal with than Marisa." She sighed. She didn't like talking ill of her friend, but really that guy… that guy was just a jerk._

_It was at that time when Nitori burst in through the room, panting. "Reimu!" she called out, looking up at the Shrine Maiden of Paradise. "It is morning! Why aren't you looking for my device?"_

_Throwing her arms in the air, Reimu walked up to Nitori. "I have my own problems to deal with Nitori. I said I would look for it and I will. I just had a little visitor. Suika hasn't even woken up yet. The day officially starts when she gets up." She said, ranting to the shy kappa. Sighing, she backed up. "…Sorry. It is just some jerk came here and pissed me off today…" she explained. Blinking, she remembered something. "Oh yeah, Nitori? What does this weapon even look like? Think you can draw it for me?"_

_Nitori reached into her backpack and pulled out a notebook. Flipping through the pages, she showed Reimu the schematics for the gun. Capable of firing bursts of mana gathered from the air, it can shoot blasts ranging in power between the forces of a single one of Reimu's Persuasion Needles, all the way up to the power of a miniature Master Spark. Its shape was something Reimu had never seen before, resembling something of a cane with a straight handle, leading all the way into a cone at the end. "I read about the design in Kourindou. Apparently, the human world calls this thing a 'gun.' It is sort of device that fires balls of lead, sort of like a man made danmaku."_

_Reimu looked at the design, having no idea what any of the words written down meant. All she knew was this. "That guy has it. I'll be right back." She said, walking out the door and taking flight. She flew around for a few minutes, looking for the guy but somehow he had vanished into thin air. "That is… odd…"_

_

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This. Is. Not. Funny. Ever had one of those moments where you go out into town and something utterly annoying happens that ruins your day? Well, this is worse. I felt hungry and decided to go and get some food. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but then I found a guy who was giving away food to the people from my world. I walked up and asked for some, but it turns out he had one thing left. It was fried lamprey.

Oh, but it gets worse. I ran off ranting and raving at my rotten luck, but then… then I bumped into some depressed looking guy. After I apologized, a sudden gust of wind came. It was strong. And I mean **strong!** The gust was so powerful, that it blew me up into a tree, landing with my foot caught in between a branch. "This. Place. Sucks." I grumbled, trying to force my way out.

I felt something in my pants wriggle. It then hit me. "The gun! Dammit Sam, you are an idiot…" I said, reaching for the gun. Switching the settings down to one, I aimed to the branch… One hundred percent chance of hitting. Fuck, I already know that! Pulling the trigger, the branch snapped and I fell to the ground. Spinning my body, I landed on my side with a thud. Screaming in pain, I got up and clutched my ribs. I think something broke.

Limping onwards, I walked to the town. The people seemed to have calmed down, sitting and chatting as though this world was their own. For the moment, it seemed… peaceful. Sighing, I limped forward until I bumped into someone. After a quick yelp of pain, I looked up to apologize. "Ah… sorry…"

"Ah? Sam, is that you?" asked a familiar voice. No way… the odds of that were statistically improbable. I stared at the man in front of me. Dyed white hair, eyes half closed and a smile that just seemed so… fake. "…Shin?" I asked.

The man clapped his hands together grabbing me by the shoulders. "Ah! Sam, it really is you! Speaking perfect Japanese no less!" he exclaimed, helping me up. This was my friend from Japan, Shin. I was supposed to meet him at Ikefukurō-zō, the owl statue in Ikubukuro.

"Well, fancy meeting you here Shin. Tell me, how've you been since we last saw each other?" I asked, grabbing his shoulder as well. Exchanging smiles, we gave a laugh. "I for one have been through hell since I landed in Japan. Mugged, attacked by a freak of nature, shook down by a shrine maiden… quality stuff right there."

Laughing, Shin turned around. "Ah, I see. How about we talk about this stuff over some lunch?" he said, walking onwards. Letting out a puff of air, I limped behind him. We walked for a while until we reached fruit stand, Shin buying us each an apple. We talked for a while, him telling me how his parents kicked him out of the house since he did something. Apparently, it was so bad he wouldn't tell me. After swallowing a bite of his apple, he stared at me, wagging a finger. "Ah, Sam! You said you were mugged. Did you say that thing I told you when they jumped you?"

Looking at my friend, I opened my mouth to respond. It was then that the words I said… finally made sense. Balling a fist, I punched him across the face. "_You fucking asswipe_!" I screamed. "You made me say something that you **knew **would piss someone off, trying to pass it off as a non-sequitor? What the hell?"

Turning up, Shin just gave that smile of his. "Ah, it is something I learned from the Western internet. That is the style of 'trolling' there, right?"

Snarling, I glared at him. "**Trolling?**When you 'troll,' you are funny. Setting someone up— a friend no less, to get beaten to an inch of their life is just… just… Ah!" I was at a lost for words. This guy… what he did was… beyond low. I literally, have no words to describe how much of a jackass you need to be to do something like that. I mean, I may be a prick, but at least I wouldn't set up a friend for something like that.

Getting up, I walked away. Flipping the bird, I said to him, "Don't follow me. Don't talk to me. Don't come looking for me. If you do… I will shoot you." I warned. Grunting, I left Shin behind to deal with that face of his and walked off aimlessly. After about an hour of walking, I found that I was in the middle of a large field without so much as a tree. Great, I am once again lost. I would like to once more, bring up the fact that I hate this place.

My basic geography classes won't help me figure how to get back to that village, since this place is so **damn confusing! **Raising my arms into the air, I could only express my agitation with a single word. One word, which I felt I would be screaming for a while."**_Fuck_!**"

Animals scattered from my bellowing scream. I heard a man scream not too far off, annoyed about something… I don't know, he was yelling in Italian. With a groan, I walked onwards and began looking for a place to sit. A few minutes passed before a shadow appeared over me, dropping a needle down in front of my foot. Looking up, I saw something shocking… well to be honest, I don't think I could say that I was surprised since everything in this 'Gensokyo' is backwards as hell.

Twenty feet in the air hovered Reimu, the shrine maiden that I was with not too long ago. Her arms crossed, one hand carrying some sort of weird stick. From what my eyes could make out, she was giving me a very stern look. "Give me back that 'gun' thing." She demanded, pulling a few charms from her sleeve. "Or I will take it back."

…

Just to reiterate. Since I came to Japan, the following things have happened. I have been jumped by thugs. Magically appeared in this strange land called 'Gensokyo.' I have been attacked by some bird lady. I am pretty sure I broke a rib from that nasty fall in the tree. I learned that my friend told me something that would get me into some serious trouble, fully knowing just what would happen. Now… I am being mugged by some flying shrine maiden who is about to throw paper at me.

I hate this fucking place, so damn much.

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**Let me clarify one thing. I do know that the pieces of paper that Reimu throws are called 'ofuda,' her stick is a 'gohei' and all that jazz. Sam however does not and since this is a story from his perspective… yeah.**

**Review dammit!**


	5. This Choice is Mine and Mine Alone!

**Okay, so I got some reviews. Inspiration points plus 20! Welcome to Gensokyo levelled up! Welcome to Gensokyo learned 'Chapter Five!'**

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_**Chapter Five**_

_**This Choice is Mine Alone!**_

Gulping, I looked at the shrine maiden above me. So many questions ran through my head, most importantly being how the hell she was flying… but they were quickly pushed to the back of my head, as the feeling of imminent doom came over me. Gulping, I balled a fist. I just know what I am doing is stupid, but there is no way I am giving up my only means of defence. "Sorry Reimu, but I guess you are going to have to take it!" I cried, pulling out the gun and aiming it at her. Those damn lines and numbers appeared before my eyes. Fuck, I already know that my chances of hitting her are… wait, zero point zero one percent? Ah, **fuck** I am in for a world of hurt.

A grin crept onto Reimu's face. "Not sure if you are really brave, or really stupid." She said, mocking me. Chuckling lightly, Reimu flew down lower to the ground. "Since you are a foreigner, I'll give you a quick explanation on how fights work here in Gensokyo. Simply we shoot each other with 'Danmaku.' Each player simply needs to dodge their opponent's, while at the same time trying to hit them." She explained. "There is something else called 'Spell Cards,' which are pretty much just special techniques. Since you don't have any, I won't use any of mine."

I stared at her, raising an eyebrow. She… just described a 'shoot 'em up' video game. Shaking my head, I took a few steps backwards. "Alright, so all I have to do is hit you? How many times do I have to do it to win?" I asked. She held up three fingers. Nodding, I placed my finger on the trigger. Giving her a smug smile, I remembered that I forgot to introduce myself to her. "My name is Samuel by the way. Samuel Smith. You can just call me Sam though."

Nodding, Reimu readied herself for this battle. "It is a pleasure to meet you Sam." She said, sarcasm hiding behind her words. That was it. This bitch is going down. "One last thing; these battles are made to be non-lethal. You won't die, but you will still feel the pain as is."

"Yeah, yeah… Just get on with it!" I shouted, pulling back on the trigger and let loose a short blast of energy. It came out with the speed of a sub-machine gun, peppering the air around Reimu. To my amazement, she flew around in the air and gracefully dodged each shot. "**Fuck**!" I cursed, as I backed away.

Still dodging it all, Reimu was scanning me for an opening. Thinking she found one, she threw about a dozen of those papers at me in an arc. I hit the ground and rolled out of the way. I heard a whiz right behind my head as one of the papers exploded three feet behind me. It wasn't a big one, barely even comparable to a cheap firecracker. Still, that would have hurt.

Getting up, I took aim. I began to mumble under my breath, reviewing what I have learned from that attack. "Alright, she seems to be an experienced fighter, so the basic strategy of aim where she is will not work. I need to lead her around like a deer, firing wherever she could be." I said, as she released another round of shots. I ran backwards, avoiding her attack as I began to analyse her skills. "Reimu's shots also seem to be a 'spread type,' so there will be holes in the attacks once it reaches a certain distance. I need to keep as far as possible if I want a chance to win."

Catching onto my strategy, Reimu began chasing me. Biting my lip, I raised my gun and flipped the settings to 'two.' "Stay back!" I cried, firing off eight shots, attempting to catch her in a sort of cage. When I saw that she moved left, I fired four more shots. Three of the shots were in places that I thought would be the most likely situation for her to escape to and the fourth… right at the point where she would logically need to be in order for her to halt. The numbers in my vision went up from a hundredth of a percent to… a whole one percent.

Her expression never once changing, Reimu simply altered her momentum to arc backwards. As she did that, she let out three waves of her papers, each one at a different angle. I was trapped. Raising my arms up to block, I was grazed by several of her attacks. One however, hit me dead centre and knocked me several yards back. Coughing, I stood up staggering.

"That is one." She said, pulled out a few more cards. Where the hell is she keeping all of those things? "I need to hit you two more times in order to win."

Dammit… that mocking attitude of hers. It really… it really was starting to piss me off. Raising a fist, I shook it at her. "While chances are I could probably beat you up if **I **could fly and you were stuck on the ground! Why don't you come down here and… fight me fairly!" I said, taunting her. Ugh… dammit, I hate it when I sound like an immature little brat, but this is the only way I can stand a chance against her.

Shrugging, Reimu lowered herself to the ground and began to casually walk over. "Alright, have it your way. I almost never lose either way." She said. In a split second, she began to dash towards me and began to quickly close the gap. She pulled back her hand, chambering a spear-hand strike.

The moment she struck the hand out, I sidestepped and raised my knee up into her gut. I saw some liquid fly out of her mouth as she jumped away. So she isn't invincible after all. "Does that count as a hit?" I asked, wanting to confirm something I had just wondered.

The girl in red and white wiped her mouth. "Well, unfortunately for you it does not. You didn't shoot me after all." She said, readying a fighting stance. She charged towards me with her stick held horizontally in one hand. Smiling, I charged towards her without fear. The moment she placed her free hand on that stick of hers, a blue wall appeared before. I used a slide to escape underneath her. The moment I got behind her, I raised the settings to five and let out a blast, the recoil being comparable to a Single Action Army revolver.

It hit her, dead centre. She went flying backwards several meters, skidding across the ground. She got up clutching her chest, an irritated grin on her face. "That… counts as a hit." She said. Taking the moment of weakness, I quickly lowered the settings down to two and let loose a spray of shots in her direction to try to get her once more. She jumped out of the way, and countered with two well aimed bits of paper. Suddenly, the lines in my vision flared up and all pointed to a single area. At the end, the numbers were listed at eighty-nine percent.

I took my chances. I fired off a shot to the spot as the paper collided with me. At that same moment, I hit Reimu once more, sending her flying. I managed to stand my ground, being pushed back a few feet. Looking up, I noticed she was glaring at me.

"You know, I think I underestimated you. I thought you would be as tough as some ordinary villager. Your aim is way too good to be human." She said, pulling out a card.

Laughing, I readied my aim once more and told her about my experience with a gun. "I went to a shooting range my uncle owned and spent hours firing pellets from BB Guns. I don't like bragging, but my aim is **amazing**!"

Reimu scoffed as threw the card up into the air. "It ends here kid. Fantasy Sign: Dream Seal!" she proclaimed. Several orbs of light emanated from her and were ready to fly in towards me. Gritting my teeth, I switched the settings on the gun to ten and pulled the trigger.

Light began building at the tip. Well, shit. I am royally fucked.

The lights all came towards me, smashing me every which-way. I was knocked three feet into the air and six feet across the field. I coughed up, feeling something hot rise up my mouth. My vision began to fade to black. Shit.

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_Reimu walked over to the man. Examining him, she placed her hand on her forehead with an exhasperated sigh. "Geez… the things I do." She grumbled as she picked him up. She knew that even though that what she did to this man was entirely her fault. She knew that it was her responsibility to make sure to keep him alive. She grabbed the gun from his hand and began to figure out how to carry it. Letting out a groan of confusion, she just put it back down and threw him over her shoulder. "Damn, you weigh a lot!" she complained as she bent down to pick up the package._

_Flying off, she took her time to make sure that the man didn't fall down to his death. It took her a while, but she returned to the shrine, seeing Suika and Nitori arguing about something. Once she got close, she tossed the kappa the gun. "You are staying here." Demanded the miko, as she took the victim of her beating inside. Placing him on a futon, she removed his jacket and shirt and began to tend to his wounds. Aside from a few bruises and a few broken bones, he was actually holding up pretty well, much to Reimu's surprise._

"_I thought you didn't care what happened to this guy?" asked Suika, as she ran in and sat beside the man, poking his face. "I got the impression that he could drop dead for all you cared."_

_Turning to the lazy oni girl, Reimu sighed. "True, but I may have put his life in danger. Its my responsibility to take care of him, isn't it?" she explained, going to get some water._

"_Since when have you ever been responsible?" asked Suika, only to be greeted by an ofuda to the face._

"_Just focus on waking him up! I think I may have given him a concussion!"_

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_**Poke**_

It hurts…

_**Poke**_ _**Poke**_

Why does my head hurt so much?

_**Poke**_ _**Poke Poke**_

What is hitting me in the head so hard, dammit?

_**Poke**_ _**Poke Poke**_ _**Poke **_

My eyes shot open and I raised my body up, screaming in pain. "_**Who the hell is poking my head?**_" I screamed, throwing my arms up into the air. I felt a surge of pain, knocking me back down, rolling around in pain. After a moment, the pain subsided and I looked up to see a young looking girl with red hair and two horns in the side of her head. Something about her… when I looked at her, something made me want to… want to…

Scream like a little girl and hug her. "**Kya! So adorable!**" I cried, rubbing my cheek on her soft head. This was my hidden shame. This was the thing, that I personally love, but hate admitting. I… am a **cute freak**! "Oh my, what is your name you **cutie**?" I asked, completely losing my sanity… which begs the question as to how the hell I am doing this inner monologue?

The little horned girl laughed as though she were drunk. "Reimu, he woke up!" she said, giggling just as absentmindedly as me. I stopped and reached for my gun and… "Wait, where is my gun?"

Suddenly, a girl with blue pigtails came in and looked at me with eyes filled with anger so intense, that it could melt glaciers. "It's **my **gun you jerk!" she screamed, stomping over to me. "You took this thing from me after it fell out of my backpack! This was **never**yours!"

I blinked. Was this girl serious, or was she just pissed off. Alright Sam, time to use your 'silver tongue.' "…I found it. Simple as that. I couldn't find the owner so I took it as my own until such a time arose. If you are indeed the owner than I will submit the weapon over to you, on the condition that I can keep it until I return home." I proposed. Come on girl, take the bait…!

Raising an eyebrow, she leaned back and began tapping her foot. "Explain why I should even consider it?"

I smiled. As a famous murderer said; 'just as keikaku*…' Taking a deep breath, I began to list my reasons, "For starters, I probably have more experience with a gun than anyone here. Second, I have amazing aim. Third… I have used it before, so I could provide you with a field test…?" I explained, not sure if the last point would be valid. I mean, who the hell would take a prototype weapon out into public without testing it, am I right?

The girl sighed. "Sounds fine to me. I needed a field tester anyway. "

…Wait, what? I blinked. "…You really didn't test it before you… ugh, whatever. So I can keep it as long as I am in Gensokyo? Are you serious?" I asked, flabbergasted by just what she was saying.

She nodded, "Yeah, but you are going to have to do several favors for me," she said as she reached into her backpack and pulled out a notepad. Flipping through the pages, she showed me the schematics… which made no sense to me. "I want you to write a report on this gun for me. When you leave, I want you to explain to me everything you have experienced this gun so I can work out whatever flaws that are encountered." She said.

To be honest… this was pretty ridiculous. This girl is letting a complete stranger handle some proto-type weapon, so long as said stranger gives a full report? Hell, it is like I'm reading some really bad piece of fiction that some sixteen year old posted on the internet… But hey, never look a gift horse in the mouth and all that jazz, am I right? I held out my hand. "You got a deal, miss…?" I asked, prompting for her name.

"Nitori. My name is Nitori Kawashiro," She said, shaking my hand. "What is your name?"

I smiled and stood up, my body screaming in pain at the sudden and stupid move. "Ugh… The name is Samuel Jones Smith. Just call me 'Sam' though, since… well honestly, I think my name sucks." I laughed. That one phrase… that single introduction is what changed from here on.

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The days passed by slowly. Reimu said she would let me spend the nights at her shrine, so long as I paid her for room and board. My daily routine was pretty much me going into town to shop for food, return to the shrine and meet up with Nitori to run these tests. It was monotonous, but I couldn't really complain. Compared to the first two nights I spent in Japan, this was heaven.

It was then that the day had finally come… the day that the outsiders were going home. According to that woman who gave me the ability to speak Japanese… Yukari I believe, said that everyone who wanted to return home simply have to gather at the shrine.

And holy shit, was this place packed. All sorts of people were lined up in front of the shrine, waiting to get home. I looked through the line and saw a lot of weird people, talking and fighting over their spot in the line. I sighed and walked past them and up to the shrine and met up with Reimu. She looked… irritated to say the least, so I thought I'd play with Suika… who was nowhere to be found. Great… Ah, fuck it all! I'll just go raid Reimu's pantry for some of those meat buns!

Things from then were rather boring for about twenty minutes before I saw Nitori open the door, currently looking as though she were on the verge of a panic attack. "Hello Sam," she greeted in that usual cheery tune of hers. Walking towards me, she held out her hand. "You got the notes?"

"Yeah, I'll hand them over to you when everyone in that line is gone. Don't want you to go through navigating through them all again."

She laughed and sat down beside me. I split the meat bun with her and waited for Reimu to come in with Yukari. It was a long wait, around two hours I'd say. "Alright, hand over Nitori's weapon thing." She said.

Blinking I tilted my head sideways. "And why is that?" I asked, raising my voice to a pitch that was filled with douche-baggery, "There is no reason for me to do that, right?"

The miko stomped towards me and picked me up by my collar. "Listen, there are quite a few things that I can't stand, but one of the big ones is going back on your word. So tell me Sam, just **what** made you think for even a second that you could get away with taking Nitori's little device to the outside world?"

The woman of questionable fashion sense(Yukari), held out her umbrella and chuckled. "Now now Reimu, I'm sure he has some reasoning for this. Would you care to explain boy?"

I held up a finger and waggled it in the air. "Well, the deal was that I could keep this gun so long as I stay here in Gensokyo, right?" I began. When no one answered, I continued on with my little explanation. "Right... Well, the reason is simple and that is… I'm staying in Gensokyo."

Reimu and Nitori just stared at me. The look on their face was priceless! It was the kind of look that you'd see on the face of your History teacher when you tell them that the first civilization was the elves. It was fucking priceless.

Nitori walked forward and just stared at me. I think she finally caught on to why I worded my request that way. "You… never had any intention of returning it to me, did you?" she aksed, balling a fist.

"Oh, I intend to return it… when I leave Gensokyo. I don't want to leave quite yet," I said, forcing myself out of Reimu's clutch. "As much as I hate this place, my old neighborhood was **far** worse. At least this place I don't have to worry about getting my face blown off by some punk on the street."

Reimu placed her hands on her hips, sending me that icy glare. "And just where do you think you are going to stay? Here?"

"…Well, actually I thought that is fine. I'll just continue to pay you for room and board, then work for my room here." I shrugged. In the time I spent here, I learned all I needed to about Reimu in order to exploit her. She was lazy and she was broke, so by paying her with money and labor… it was an offer she couldn't refuse.

Seems like I was right. Reimu simply growled for a minute then sighed. "Fine, whatever… but what about Nitori?"

"Well, the deal was that I was to write a report on the weapon to help improve it. I'll continue to do so, every… month or so. How does that sound Nitori?"

Her fists still balled, it appeared as though she was reluctant to give into my 'demands.' But, she wasn't the kind of person to go back on deal. I could the anger falter as she relaxed her hands. Sighing, she gave in. "Fine… but in exchange, you will have to fill out an entirely different form every month. In addition, I reserve the right to reclaim it whenever I need so I can perform the required upgrades. Deal?"

Holding out my hand, I smiled. "Deal." I laughed. We shook hands, sealing our deal. This was it. I left my old shitty life behind and am in this strange new land.

To recap, since I have landed in Japan I have been jumped by thugs, entered this weird wonderland, been attacked by some crazy bird lady, learned that one of my friends told me to say something that might get me killed, beaten up by a flying shrine maiden throwing paper, which comes in full circle to me deciding I am not going home.

I hate this place, but it sure is a hell of a lot better than where I used to live!

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**And so concludes the first arc. Next arc should be up in at least a week… but next chapter will be a **_**little**_** bit different. Now review dammit!**

*** = Keikaku means plan.**


	6. Gun Report Number 1

**These chapters will serve as an interlude between arcs. They are merely the report on Nitori's weapon, written by our jerkass hero Sam. These will be written in her perspective, rather than Sam's, until it hits his report which will be italicized. Enjoy.**

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I placed down my chopsticks and thanked Reimu for the cucumber rolls. As I walked for the door, Sam threw me the paper that I came here for. "Thanks Sam…" I grumbled, uncrumpling the report. That sneaky little jerk… trying to keep the gun I designed for himself. Admittedly though, if what he says about his marksmanship is true, then he probably is the person who could use it most effectively… I think.

As I made my way back to Youkai Mountain, I took the time to read over his report… which was written terribly. His handwriting is terrible. Seriously, I can barely read this…

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_**Mast-Gun**_

_**Accuracy: **__Honstly, I cn't compln. Tho the cylndr is a bt cubersme, the sitig is pefct. The fel of the gn is good and prpery wegted and lck of recol allws for esy use of rapd fir. _

_**Power: **__Ech levl has its uss, but I fnd mysef usng lels four and seven the mst. Anthng lowr thn four is too wek and eveythng hgher than seven lses accurcy. In additn, the powr of ten tkes tim to chrge._

_**Comments: **__Try clsing the powe gaps btwen eac lvel. Altoh the sigt is good, it is slity off centr whch my be bad for cmmn civlins. Mve it point zero-zero-two millimetres to the lft. If you rsrch othr tpes of guns, try rfles or macine guns._

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As I walked into my home, I scratched my head as I finished reading his notes. "I should ask him to get someone else to write for him… took me an hour to decipher this…" I grumbled. I reached for a pencil and took a seat by the drawing board. "A machine gun, huh?"

**

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**Sam knows his kanji, just has no skills at writing. Dear god it was painful writing like that… once again, something like this will occur in each arc, slowly getting longer and longer. See you next time in the new arc!**


	7. Spells for Dummies

**Welcome to the second story arc, 'Welcome to the Forest.' A new character will be added to Sam's circle of friends for the next few arcs, much like how Reimu made a new friend after each and every game. So, let us begin!  


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_**Chapter Five**_

_**Spells for Dummies**_

It has been about three weeks since I moved into the Hakurei Shrine. Reimu and I get along well enough, but we tend to get on each other's nerves. Like today for example, "Reimu! Where the hell are my clothes?" I screamed from the top of my lungs. That damn shrine maiden was always taking my spare set of clothes and washing it without my permission.

She looked over from the donation box which she checked every morning, sending me an annoyed stare. "Where do you think it is, Sam? It was lying around so I washed it." She replied, sighing as she slid the tray back. "Why don't you be useful and go get the errands accomplished?"

Changing the subject… Damn, she is irritating. With a groan I walked out into the cold autumn air without a shirt and shivered. "Yeah, whatever…" I grumbled as I pulled off my shirt from the clothes line and put it on. Damn thing was still damp… ah, screw it. I have gone through worse without getting a cold. I walked back in to see Suika sleeping in the middle of the floor, her body sprawled out. I then decided that living under the same roof of Suika can not be good for my teeth.

I grabbed my wallet and said goodbye to Reimu as I made my way down the long stairs. It was a relatively short walk to the human village, about the time it took me to walk to the nearest Dairy Queen back home, so about fifteen minutes. The streets seemed really empty compared to when I first came here, which is to be expected. At that time, there were like… over a hundred people from the 'outside world.'

…

Man, this is still so hard to take in… This place, 'Gensokyo...' it is like Wonderland, where creatures of fantasy all lived in a world separated by an invisible barrier. This is all too weird… but, I suppose I'll get used to it. I mean, I **am**living here now, am I right? I have the rest of my life to get used to this place. I'm sure of it.

Reimu probably doesn't need those groceries for a while, so I decided to wander around for a while and mingle. I figure that I might as well make myself known amongst the villagers, lest they all gang-up on me and murder me in my sleep. One can never be too careful with these sorts of things.

So I wandered through the village and said good afternoon to every few people I came across. I saw a ramen stand nearby and pulled up a seat. "One bowl of miso ramen please," I said as I pulled out a couple hundred yen. The noodle cart owner smiled as she looked at me, giving me the thumbs up. In a few minutes, my noodles came and I dug in.

That is when I heard someone pull up a chair beside me. "Pork ramen please," said a monotonous voice that sounded strangely familiar. "And make it quick."

I turned over my head to see just who that person was and I couldn't believe my eyes. It was that guy from way back on my first day in Gensokyo! "_Winter jacket guy_!" I said as I stood up and pointed at the man.

He looked at me with an aloof expression, shrugging off my reaction. "_My name is Hideo. Why are you still here? A foreigner would probably die here since hardly anyone knows a word of English._" He said as he split his chopsticks… in English.

Oh shit, I must have talked to him in English… whoops. "Uh… well, someone gave the ability to speak perfect Japanese. Pretty neat, huh?" I said, chuckling nervously at the man. Damn, I am not usually this clumsy with my talking… then again, I am always cursing for no reason so who am I to judge?

"I guess so…" he mumbled as he thanked the woman for his ramen. Clapping his hands together, bowed in a very relaxed manner. "Thank you for the meal," he said calmly as he slurped up his bowl. He then looked at me and blinked slowly. "…Why did you stay?"

Taken aback by his question, I simply shrugged and gave him a direct answer. "My old place was way worse than here. Here, I can start fresh and avoid the people who want me dead back at home, get fresh air every day, actually be able to fire a gun and possibly make a few new friends." I explained. Chuckling, I rubbed the back of my head and finished up my thought. "My only regrets are that I won't have interior heating, internet or television."

Hideo nodded slowly as he finished off his ramen… huh, in less than a minute. That is pretty good. "…Me too, but instead of hating my old life, I simply got bored." He mumbled. Getting up, he paid the woman and walked off. "See you whenever…"

…

Damn! Now that guy was cool! No idea why, but… damn!

I finished off my ramen and got up to complete the errands. It took me about two hours, but I finally returned to Reimu who was talking to some blonde haired girl dressed up like a witch. "Hello there… who might you be?" I asked as I handed Reimu her groceries.

The witch girl looked and me and held out her hand, "Name's Marisa. You the guy Reimu's been talking 'bout?" she asked, holding her hand out. Shaking her hand, I nodded.

"Yeah, that would be me. My name is Samuel Jones Smith. It is nice to meet you Marisa." I said. I shrugged it off and walked into the shrine. I felt Reimu grab me by the arm and throw me down to sit beside her.

"Sam, we need to talk about a few things," said the shrine maiden as she glared at me sternly. Oh no, that stare… it is like she is staring into my **soul**! "Since you are going to be living here, you are going to need to learn how to play danmaku."

I blinked at what she said, confused. "Okay then… but you are going to need to tell me first just what the hell this 'danmaku' thing is," I said as I scratched my head, having no idea what she was talking about.

As Marisa laughed, Reimu let out a sigh. "Remember when you and I fought back in the field? I kept on throwing my ofuda at you and they would explode. That is what Danmaku is, but what you need to do in order to play it, is evade what comes at you." She explained.

I slowly nodded as I recalled that battle… still sore by the way. "Yeah… so, basically I just got to shoot and dodge bullets… sounds easy enough." I said with a shrug. The girls then looked at each other and began to laugh at me. I looked over to them and asked them just what the hell was so funny. The witch then turned to me and told me this,

"Most of the weaker denizens of Gensokyo shoot hundreds upon hundreds of 'bullets' at a time. When Reimu was fighting you, she was going easy on you… I'll tell you this; If the two of us fought, you'd be dead in a matter of minutes!" she cackled, arms slamming down on the wood she was sitting on.

…

I did not like this girl. Not one bit. Groaning, I sighed as I tried to go into the shrine, only to feel Reimu grab my leg. Turning around, I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you want now?"

The shrine maiden scoffed and let go. "If you want to survive here in Gensokyo, or settle any sort of dispute, you are going to need to have your own set of Spell Cards." She told me as she made my sit down beside her.

I wanted to protest. I wanted to tell her that I was competent enough to handle myself in a fight… but I knew she was right. Sighing, I hung my head in defeat and held my hand out. "Alright… give me the cards and let me try them out…" I said dejectedly.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Reimu shake her head. "That isn't how it works…" she said as she pulled out a few blank pieces of paper. To be honest… it looked like a playing card, with a blank frame up top, a box for the name and another for flavor text. How amusing. "You need to write down the name in the top box, draw a sort of picture in the middle and give a description of how it works in the bottom one. It's not difficult." She said.

Nodding, I got up and walked into my room. Grabbing a pen, I wrote down a few simple ideas onto the cards, giving them a military theme. Nothing special, I showed them to Reimu. "There. Done. I'm going to make myself a small snack and practice my shots." I said as I went back in.

Sighing, I used some left over rice and made a rice ball. Eating it, I listened into the conversation that Reimu and Marisa were having. From what I could make out, it was something about… how the leaves in some forest were turning into a problem. Well if that is the case, she should just rake them up! It is fucking autumn! Leaves are supposed to fall!

I finished my snack, licked my fingers clean, and got up. With the gun holstered in my pants, I walked off to the back. Looking, I grabbed the woodcutting axe and smiled. "This should prove useful," I said as I picked it up. Chuckling, I spun it by my side as I walked into the forest. "Got to make those targets somehow." I walked until I found a nice open clearing. Conveniently, there was a dying tree nearby, which wasn't all that big. Holding the axe firmly, I cut it down in ten minutes. I whistled as it slowly timbered down with a thud. Wiping the sweat, I grabbed the axe once more and cut a few blocks out of the trunk, placing them in a line. I took thirty paces back and grabbed the gun. As the lines and numbers appeared in my vision, I stared the logs down.

Actually… to be honest, those figures looked sort of like a Targeting System that you would see in those sci-fi movies… Well then, now I know what to call them.

As the targeting system confirmed my one hundred percent accuracy, I smiled as I grabbed the gun. Ten logs stood in a line, each waiting to be knocked down. "Alright… this gun seems to work in middle settings as a single fire weapon… lower settings as a suppression type." I said to myself as I gathered my thoughts. "I could fire one shot a second when I was fighting Reimu, so I need to double that. First goal; knock them all down in five seconds!"

As if on command, a timer appeared in my Targeting System… weird, but why look a gift horse in the mouth? Smiling, I drew my gun and quickly set the settings to around four. The shots came out smoothly, with barely any recoil. I quickly managed to knock them down… but it took me nine-point-eighty-three seconds. "…Guess I will be here for a while." I said as I went to pick up the targets to reset them for another round.

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_In the forest of magic, a lone figure sat on a tree. Yawning, the person played around with some acorns, throwing them into the air and catching them as the fell._

_Not too far off, a girl in a blue dress with shards of ice floating near her back was talking to another girl in a blue dress with more bug-like wings. The ice-shard girl crossed her arms and spoke to her companion. "I'm telling you Dai, there is something wrong here! Men normally don't try to randomly grab the skirts of fairies to start a danmaku. If they wanted to fight the strongest, they could have said so!" she proclaimed._

_The girl with the bug wings, who appeared to be named 'Dai,' laughed sheepishly as she floated along the other girl. "Cirno, I don't think they were interested in danmaku."_

_The girl named Cirno tilted her head. "Eh? What else could they have been wanting, Dai?" she asked with a voice filled with curiosity._

_The person on the tree threw the acorns, hitting Cirno in the head. As the girl looked up with anger in her eyes, the figure spoke up. "It's dangerous to be in the forest alone. Especially two girls as young as you." Said a male voice._

_Cirno flew up and stared at the man, the shards of ice acting as a pair of wings. "Hey! Just who do you think you are, throwing acorns at me! Don't you know who I am?" she asked._

_The man chuckled. "Cirno, the strongest." He said sarcastically, playing with some more acorns. "But strongest what…? That is the million yen question, is it not?" he asked, sending a rather condescending look to her._

_The girl placed a hand to her chest, puffing it out boastfully. "Ha! Stupid human! Everyone knows who I am! I am Cirno, the strongest fairy in Gensokyo!" she shouted. However, the man merely laughed a hollow laugh at the claim._

"_The strongest fairy? That is like saying the strongest fly in the bug zapper museum! Your kind is just cannon fodder!" he said in the rudest fashion imaginable._

_The fairy of ice grit her teeth. "I-I'll show you just how strong I am!" she shouted as she flew back and held her arms out, firing icicles at the man. They struck the tree, but he was no longer on the branch where he once stood._

_At the very last moment, he let himself fall off. Landing on the ground gracefully, he grabbed some blades of grass and threw them into the air. "…Big mistake." He said simply as a mysterious wind blew through._

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I spent about five hours training on those wooden blocks, making a marginal improvement. Although I was not able to knock them all down in five seconds, I did shave it down to about six and a half. Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I walked into the shrine to see Reimu bandaging some blue haired child. "…The hell happened to her?" I asked.

Reimu shot me a glare as she finished treating the girl. "…Sit down Sam," she began. "I need to tell you something."

Oh fuck… there is no chance in hell that this is going to be good news.

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**Fuck man, this took forever. Blame Mabinogi and Shin Megami Tensei… and porn. Lots and lots of porn.**


	8. Amateur Incident Buster

**I got a review? My god, this is amazing! Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like if Touhou was as popular in the west as it was in Japan… if it were, this section may be bigger than Naruto or Harry Potter. Then I would get like… 10 reviews a chapter!**

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_**Chapter Six Amateur Incident Buster**_

Call it paranoia, but whenever someone told me to sit down so they could have a talk with me, I always felt uneasy. Gulping, I sat down and looked at Reimu and then to the blue-haired girl with the bandages. At the edge of the room, sat another young girl with green hair in a side ponytail. Before Reimu got to say anything, I pointed to them. "Who are these girls?" I asked, trying to resist the urge to give them a bone-crushing hug.

Reimu sighed. "They are fairies. The one with blue hair is Cirno, a fairy of ice. The other is Daiyousei." She said as she let the blue-haired one get up. Her wounds didn't seem **too** bad, but it still looked like they hurt. Blood stained bandages on her legs and few on her face. "They say they were attacked in the Forest of Magic… but I don't believe them." She said with a sigh.

Cirno threw her arms down and shouted at Reimu, "Hey! What does the stupid red-white think of me! I'm telling the truth! Tell her Dai!" she screamed, looking to her friend for backup. The other girl merely grabbed her knees and shook her head.

"C-Cirno, I hate to say this but… You didn't need to shoot ice at him when he just threw an acorn at you. It was a bit of an overreaction." She said. I smiled. Despite her shyness, she was able to be honest to her friend, who seemed more outgoing. I can respect that.

"Enough!" shouted Reimu as she made Cirno sit down. Staring at me, she gave that terrifying glare. I gulped as I waited for her to speak to me. "Sam, your money is going to run out soon, right? You can't pay rent and get yourself a snack every day, without running out. Right?" she asked.

Was this really what she needed to know? Huh… I thought it would be worse. "Well, yeah. But I intend to work for it." I said with a shrug. Holding the I'll sweep the front, cook, get groceries…"

Reimu slammed her hand on the floor. "No. That won't do. I already have Suika doing all that stuff and you would just be taking work from her." She sternly said. "Instead, I want you to do jobs for me." She said. "You see, as the shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shine, I am tasked with solving all major disputes in Gensokyo. But sometimes, people come here with utterly stupid requests, much like Cirno here." She said, pointing to the fairy, to which she responded with an angry shout.

…

Now she is giving me a toothache. "…So basically you want me to be a mediator. Solve people's problems that you deem beneath you?" I asked, slightly offended. Standing up, I waved my hand. "Damn, you are one lazy girl," I told her with an irritated voice. Turning around I made my way to my room. "But whatever… I'll do it. Just tell me when you get a job for me."

"Alright then, your first assignment starts now." She said all of a sudden. "Go find whoever beat up Cirno. The idiot won't stop bugging me till I do."

"I am not an idiot!" shouted Cirno as she grabbed Daiyousei. "Let's go Dai! The red-white is being stupid!" she ordered as the two walked away.

…

Fuck, Reimu is a bitch. Sighing, I ran after Cirno and Daiyousei, stopping them before they flew away. "Hey! I need to ask you a few questions!" I called out.

Cirno wasn't interested in talking, but her friend seemed to want to say something. Unable to go against the fairy of ice, she simply shouted at me. "Come to the Misty Lake! Go north-east!" she said.

"Come on Dai!" shouted Cirno as they flew away. She may be arrogant, but hey she is a kid. I wasn't much better at that age. Daiyousei however… she might make a good wife when she grows up.

Chuckling, I walked down the stairs and passed by an unconscious Suika. Smiling, I continued northeast and went into the human village. The place was quiet except for a few people out in the streets. Of note though, there was that woman who was helping the outsiders back on my first day here… and she was with a silver haired person in red pants. Shrugging, I walked past them and into the forest.

I picked up the pace as I ran past the forest. A beautiful lake stood before me, a light blanket of fog over the surface of the water and a mansion in the centre. I walked along the shore, looking for Daiyousei. Hearing some people talking up ahead, I ran once more.

…

Things got cold all of a sudden. About two hundred feet away, Daiyousei and Cirno stood, talking to a few other people. "Yo! Daiyousei! Over here!" I called out, waving my hands in the air. Running over, I saw that in total there were five of them; Cirno, Daiyousei, a blonde girl in a black dress, a green haired girl in a Victorian shirt and shorts and the last…

Oh fuck! It's the girl from the grilled lamprey stand! Okay… just pretend I don't know her and she probably won't… I hope.

"H-Hey! You are the jerk who shot at me!" she shouted, pointing her fingers at me.

Well, that went over well. Holding up my hands, I tried to show her that I was not in the mood for a fight. "Hey, you attacked me first," I said as he looked down on her. "Besides, I am here to talk to Cirno. So shut up!"

The girl with green hair balled a fist and stepped forward. "Don't talk to our friend like that," she said with a bit of anger in her eyes.

…Well, I just said something stupid.

Suddenly, Cirno raised her hand. "I got an idea!" she shouted as she pulled the green haired girl and the girl who I fought with back then to the side. They began to talk to each other, far too quiet for me to hear.

I leaned down and tapped Daiyousei on the shoulder. "So… think you can tell me what exactly happened?" I asked as I looked at the fairy in the eyes.

Sighing, she looked to the ground and explained to me what had happened. "Well we were out in the Forest of Magic alone, talking and then this strange man started to make fun of Cirno… Then she got mad and attacked the guy who used some weird ability to beat her!"

Weird ability? That is horribly vague. Nevertheless, I continued to ask questions. No matter what I asked, it didn't really help me since she didn't know what the fuck happened. It seemed that it all happened too fast for the poor girl to comprehend. Sighing, I turned around and waved. "Alright. Thanks anyway Daiyousei." I said as I began to walk off.

"Hold it right there, brown hair!" called out Cirno in that rash tone of hers. Turning my head around to see what was going on, I saw the green haired girl stand beside Cirno, glaring daggers at me. "Wriggle here wants to fight you! If you can beat her, I'll tell you anything that you need!" she said with a raised chest.

I raised my eyebrow and sighed as I crossed my arms. "Now, what could you possibly tell me that Daiyousei couldn't?" I asked, tilting my head with a smug on my face. I scoffed and shook my head. "No thanks… I got a schedule to keep." I said as I began to walk away. Cirno then laughed at me.

"I can give you an exact description of the man as well as a name!" she exclaimed. Alright, that got my attention. I turned around to see the fairy of ice holding her hand out to the green haired girl, apparently named Wriggle. Aside from her antennae and rather androgynous appearance, she seemed completely normal… well, as normal as one can get in this place.

I flashed a grin and gave Cirno the thumbs up. "Alright, you got a deal," I said as I reached for my gun. "Whoever scores three hits on their opponent wins, right?" I asked as I pulled out my gun and set it to four. As I saw Wriggle nod and get into a battle stance, the Targeting System activated and locked onto Wriggle. I looked to Cirno and smirked. "So, when do we—?"

"Start!" cried out the fairy as she pumped her arms into the air. As she did so, I felt something really hard hit me in the side of my face. Looking through the corner of my eye, I saw Wriggle's leg outstretched and connecting with my cheek.

Damn, this hurts like a **bitch**! I flew back a few feet and landed with a roll. Once I stopped, I quickly drew my gun and locked onto her, firing off a few shots. She managed to dodge them easily enough through, what I will admit were a dazzling display of aerial manoeuvres. Increasing the distance between us, I continued to shoot out suppressive fire towards her.

Suddenly, Wriggle's body began to glow. "Alright outsider," she said as she pulled out a card. Raising it high into the air, it shone with a green light before it dispersed into dust. "Let me show you how it is done! Lamp Sign—Firefly Phenomenon!" she proclaimed. It was… odd, I could here a loud buzzing surrounding the area.

…

Wait a minute… Wriggle has antennae… that means bugs… what if… oh shit, this is bad! I shot my head around to look for the source of the noise. And to my shock, I saw tiny lights dot the sky. Thousands, or flying lights coming towards me, the sound of flapping bug wings grew louder with each passing moment. "Oh… shit!" I cursed as I fired wildly into the huge cloud of bugs.

Hate. Hate. Hate! I hate bugs! All of my fucking hate! "Die, die, die, die, die!" I cried as I tried to dodge these bugs. The things swarmed me, but for the most part I managed to shoot them away… aside from that one fucking little pest that flew right at me, knocking me into the freezing cold water. Well, not only did I lose a hit, I am probably going to catch my death of hypothermia… Shit.

I tried to open my eyes to see what was going on up at the surface. My 'Targeting System' was barely working, if at all. The numbers and lines all pointed to a figure floating above the water, but I couldn't quite get a lock on it. Well, I suppose that is a limitation of the ability— obstacles block vision, but technical 'blindness' does not. Weird.

Ah well, I had no choice left, so I did the only thing I could think of. Raising my gun, I aimed at the target as I quickly began to swim upwards. If I am right, then the moment I pull this trigger, I will—

_**BANG!**_

Whoa! I just went flying down about four inches. Damn, this thing has some kick. Keeping my eye on the 'target,' I noticed it staggered around. I think that was a hit. I kicked with all my might, finally breaching the surface. Gasping for the cold air as it filled my lungs, I took aim at Wriggle once more. "Die you cockroach!" I screamed, firing off a quick volley of shots.

Three. Fucking three of them connected. I can't believe it, this… this girl who was giving me so much trouble… just collapsed the moment she lost sight of me in the water! Holy shit, this was a huge anti-climax. Ah well, no need to look a gift horse in the mouth. I quickly got back to dry land and shook myself as dry as I could, splashing everyone with water. "Alright Cirno… fess up. Give me that information." I said, looking at the small fairy.

Her arms crossed, she stared at me with cold eyes. Gazing at each other, we both tried to maintain eye-contact, almost as though we were trying to prove which one of us was dominant. Staring into those eyes, I furrowed my eyebrows in an attempt to scare her.

She started to laugh at me. Well, that didn't go as planned. "Okay, whatever… So, you wanted to know what this person looked like, as well as his name?" Asked Cirno as she calmed herself down.

Shivering, I nodded. "Yes! Tell me who he is!" I shouted, flailing my arms out. Damn, this girl is irritating. "Out with it!"

Frowning, the fairy waved her finger in front of me. "Quiet. Don't you know that it is not polite to be impatient?" She asked. Okay, she is going down one of these days… I swear, I will drop her. "Oh well, you did earn it I guess… this man who I met in the Forest of Magic today was wearing… heavy winter clothes."

I blinked. Truly, Cirno has rendered me speechless. Heavy… Winter… clothes… That covers about… oh, I don't know… fucking everyone! Trying my best to hold back my anger, I leaned in close to her head and tried my very best to smile. "Oh… thank you… and you said you found out his name? What was it?" I asked.

It seems that my smile scared her, since she backed away with a look of discomfort. "Uh… well, when I asked his name, he said it was… '_Not important…_' There. Now away with you!" She shouted as she flew away. "Come on guys!"

As they all flew away, I simply… stood there. I was speechless. I had nothing to say.

…

"…I fucking hate this place…" I said as I turned around and walked back to the shrine. Ah well… guess I will go to the Forest of Magic tomorrow to figure out just what is going on. You know, cut the problem at the source? "Can't be nearly as much of a time waster as today was…"

As I climbed the stairs, I began to sneeze uncontrollably. Fucking Wriggle and your bugs… fucking Cirno and your idiocy… I swear, one of these days I am going to kill you.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long. This chapter was a pain to write and honestly… I have the other story arcs sorted out… and this one is the one I like the least. Ah well, next chapter or so should end it, then I can start writing the next story ar****c.**


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